Crimea — 15 years later

Everyone was in a very good mood. We said a warm goodbye. I felt that this time I was leaving for good and was unlikely to come back here again anytime soon. I had already grown used to these guys; they had become like family to me. Andrey drove me to the bus station, and I headed to Krasnodar. I arrived late in the evening. The driver rescheduled the trip to Feodosia from 3:00 AM to 6:00 AM, so I got a little sleep at the station. By morning, I went to the meeting point where he picked me up. The car, to put it mildly, was pretty rough…

CRIMEA – 15 YEARS LATER = Day 36 =

In the morning I set off for Feodosia. The driver was a funny kid; he talked nonstop the whole way. Dag, as far as I understood. Reminded me a bit of a chatty African American from American action movies. His car was barely alive. Throughout the trip, he kept getting out to fix the muffler. Something was constantly rattling in the back of the car. What exactly was rattling—he didn't know himself. And after we crossed the strait and were already on Crimean territory, his gearbox broke. Past Kerch, we had to drive only in third gear, so stopping was highly undesirable, and we had to keep the pedal down the whole time. Riding with us in the back seat were a young guy and a girl. They were classmates, traveling together. I wanted to sleep. The ride was very uncomfortable; the car was crooked and cramped. My whole body went numb. All in all, the trip took 9 hours. I arrived in Feodosia and immediately rented a room in a guesthouse for a day. Had some coffee, conducted a rune planning session. After the session, I wrote out a rune planning sheet for myself. Before sleep, I need to think more carefully about goals, plans, the path. During the new moon, this is especially effective. A quality is forming—to do everything quickly, on the go. Circumstances force you to complete tasks as they come, without putting them off. Right now, everything most important and responsible has to be done in a weakened state—lack of sleep, hunger, extreme physical exhaustion, nervous strain. All these weakening factors won't have a negative impact on our affairs if we don't perceive them as obstacles, as something significant. We ourselves decide whether we feel good or bad right now. Through our attitude toward the world, we shape our reality. This happens here and now. Even if external situations knock us off balance, we can always stop the automatic reflex process and look at the situation from the outside, observe it without judgment, objectively. To do this, it's enough to simply remember yourself in that moment and perform these simple actions. By separating yourself from the feeling that has absorbed your attention, you gain the opportunity to track yourself. An impeccable person is one who is in continuous self-tracking of their feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Impeccability is, above all, the absence of self-reflection.

That is, if we stop reflecting ourselves in the automatic processes in which the bulk of our attention is mired, we gain the ability to act consciously and freely. In other words—impeccably. For example, at this moment you have a task that needs to be solved. It exists, and that's objective. You find the most adequate way to solve it, based on the resources available, and you do everything in your power to resolve it as quickly and simply as possible. In the moment of execution, you are pure action, devoid of questions and whining. A pure beam of attention aimed at the result, like a red-hot knife slicing through butter. Your will is as strong as that red-hot knife, and no problem can affect your emotional state. Because you are pure, impeccable action, freed from the need to divide the world into good and bad, black and white. There is only a single moment that you are living through. And in that single moment, absolute harmony of feeling and reason, consciousness and subconscious, soul and body is realized. Right now, I acutely feel that my strength is always with me and that everything in my life depends on my intention. And the apparent physical exhaustion is an illusion I invented.

MEGANOM – PART 1 = Day 37 =

With each passing day, the state becomes harsher, more ruthless, with a touch of active indifference. I care less and less about the conditions I'm in. I see the goal, I see the path, and only that matters.